ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize