I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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