dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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