well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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