smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize