K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
