bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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