So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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