She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize