can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
