the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it because I queefed?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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