i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
