apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
