He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
