TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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