well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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