Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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