Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
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I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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