So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
