This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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