Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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