so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
