I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
