Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize