So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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