I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
