Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
