u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
