I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
