just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it's like iHOP with fire
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
