PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
