I've blown a few things in my day
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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