Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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