I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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