Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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