Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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