No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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