I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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