maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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