i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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