The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
