What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
