So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
