White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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