I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's never too late to be topless.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
