Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
