wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
