i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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