i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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