He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dick very happy bro
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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