over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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