Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
