It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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