Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
