i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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