new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
