No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
