The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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