OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
