I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
